A polyamorous lesbian is a woman who has romantic relationships with multiple people. This can include having a primary relationship, having a secondary relationship or being a member of a poly web or family.
Some polyamorous lesbians also have multiple relationships with men. This is called non-relational exchange (NRE). It can be a difficult situation for polyamorous lesbians to navigate, but it’s a necessary part of the lifestyle.
Why poly?
Polyamory is an alternative form of relationships characterized by consensuality and non-monogamy. People of all sexual orientations, gender identities, and relationship styles can participate in polyamory.
In a polyamorous network, individuals have open romantic and sexual relationships with more than one person at a time. The partners have a shared understanding of what their relationships entail and what each partner is allowed to do.
Individuals often join polyamorous communities for socio-emotional reasons, such as dissatisfaction with the limits of monogamy. However, these communities also provide social support and a sense of community, which may help members transition into adulthood.
Polyamorous relationships can be hierarchical (one relationship takes priority over others) or equal (no primary or secondary partner). In a hierarchy, the members of the polyamorous relationship prioritize their own needs and desires over those of their other partners.
Myths
Polyamory has become a popular term among LGBT people, but there are still myths that surround it. Whether you’re a bisexual, lesbian, or heterosexual person, you might find yourself confused by some of these misconceptions.
Myth 1: Gay men are more prone to polyamory than lesbians.
The truth is that both genders are equally susceptible to monogamy and polyamory, based on individual preferences.
Myth 2: Polyamory is for commitment-phobes.
This is a myth that has no basis in fact, and it only harms polyamorous people. It is more a matter of social stigma than a true reflection of polyamory.
Misconceptions
There are a lot of misconceptions about polyamorous lesbians. Those misconceptions can be very harmful and can lead to negative experiences with these individuals.
For example, some people think that polyamorous lesbians are unable to have monogamous relationships. This isn’t true!
Another misconception is that polyamorous lesbians are only interested in sex. This isn’t true either, and it doesn’t mean that sex isn’t important or that a person isn’t devoted to their partner.
One study found that if you ask a polyamorous person how they would feel if their partner had sex with someone else, they’re more likely to say they’d be excited than they would be scared. This is because a polyamorous person’s happiness comes from their external relationships rather than their partner’s.
Reality
Polyamorous lesbians are devoted to more than one person, in a consensual and loving relationship. This is not marriage, which is illegal in most countries.
Many people have misconceptions about polyamorous lesbians, and it is important to dispel some of them. These misconceptions can include:
In phenomenology, subject is an individual who has unique consciousness and experiences and objects are things that exist outside of a subject (Queer Phenomenology).
Ahmed (2006) suggests a way to understand how orientating towards other queer bodies can provide spaces for a change in life and relationships. She notes that the majority of our interviewees have experienced a turning point, which is often followed by a feeling that they can no longer follow the norms that dominated their lives.
The informants tell of therapists that stopped them, and others in their surroundings who questioned them and tried to force them into mono-normativity. This can lead to a lot of pain and frustration.